


Almost Paradise

by RachaelBmine



Series: Chrysalis - A Sassy Beginning [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 17!sam, 18!cas, Alternate Universe - High School, Coming Out, Demisexual Sam Winchester, Fluff, Gay Castiel, High School Prom, Homophobic Language, Kissing, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, Sastiel - Freeform, Secret Relationship, Teen!Cas, Young Love, high school sweethearts, teen!Sam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-02
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 20:37:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2082330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachaelBmine/pseuds/RachaelBmine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where teen Sam and teen Castiel are secret high-school sweethearts who, together, decide to boldly come out at their senior prom. (circa 1985)</p><p>18 yo Castiel/17 yo Sam</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sam

**Author's Note:**

> I'm really stuck on some of the other things I am trying to write right now so I needed some inspiration... Also, I need more Sastiel in my life. 
> 
> Inspired by a gif I found while searching for some Sastiel stuff.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam shops with his big brother Dean
> 
> Flashback: the boys meet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I understand that in the 1980s ninth grade was considered middle school. However, for my purposes we will pretend that idiotic piece of history did not happen and ninth grade was part of high school like it should be. :) Enjoy

Sam was bursting at the seams with barely controlled excitement about the upcoming events. He swore he could feel his skin crawling and every muscle in his body buzzing as he walked through the large department store with his older brother Dean. It was prom season and the mannequins all displayed colorful ruffled shirts and flowing chiffon dresses. Sam was a senior at East Lawrence High School- A SENIOR! This year had been his best year yet, just as most seniors would tell you. He was still on the honor roll and he was student body Historian. He had been accepted into his #1 pick of four different Universities, Stanford University. He was on the basketball team, sure he wasn't the best shot but he pulled his weight when they needed him, and at 6'4" that came easy for him. The senior prom, themed Time After Time, was quickly approaching. The best part, the part that made his cheeks hurt from the permanent grin that spread across his face from sun up to sun down, was love. Sam Winchester was blissfully head over heels in love with a boy named Castiel Novak. Cas was smart, and wanted to be a doctor because he cared about everyone. It didn’t take Sam much time to notice how beautiful Cas was, a head perfectly cut of dark brown hair and sapphire blue eyes that set Sam’s entire being on fire. It all started freshman year when the two became best friends, studying together, sharing a lunch table, but over the last three years it had blossomed into so much more.

_-Freshman Year-_

_Sam walked into Mrs. Baker’s homeroom class in typical Winchester style. Shoulders square, a grin on his face, and oozing false confidence. No one seemed to notice him. Everyone was in a line at the front of the class looking at the teacher with either total boredom or complete indifference. She continued to call names and students continued to walk to the desks that were lined up in rows across the classroom. “Greyson,” the teacher called out. Good, only in the Gs, Sam thought, she won’t notice that he was late. The minutes ticked by slowly as she called each student one by one, greeting each as they passed her in an effort to put a face to the names. “Novak,” she called out next. A lanky kid with dark hair and seriously intense blue eyes walked towards the back of the second to last row. “Hello Castiel, welcome to homeroom,” she said pleasantly. The boy gave a tiny wave and sank into his seat. He seemed to be relieved to be all the way in the back._

_At least ten more minutes ticked by before she finally called “Last but not least, Winchester!” Sam moved past the teacher, “Welcome to homeroom Samuel,” she gushed. “Oh, it’s just Sam- ma’am. Everyone calls me Sam,” Sam said as he felt his cheeks start to flush. “Well, Sam it is!” Her voice sounded almost sing song like, as if this were all a fairy tale and her prince would be bursting through the door to whisk her away at any moment. Sam dropped his book bag at his feet and took his seat. The boy with the blue eyes sat in the assigned seat to his left. Sam tried to sneak a look from the corner of his eye and was slightly startled to see that Castiel was looking directly at him. He looked over and shot a dimpled smile in the boy’s direction. “Hey. I’m Sam,” he said with the charm he could have only learned from his big brother. He wanted to make friends and this seemed a good place to start. “Castiel,” the boy extended his hand towards Sam. Sam chuckled a little, he’d never had a kid give him a hand shake, but accepted the greeting._

_They compared schedules and saw that they had most of their classes together, except Phys. Ed. and Art. They talked to a lot of students that day but they always ended up talking and laughing with each other by the end of each period. It only took a month for them to start their study group. Sam, who wanted to be a lawyer or maybe judge, would lead for Social Studies and (his favorite) History courses. Castiel, who wanted to be a doctor, would lead with when it came to Science and Math. Just like that, they were inseparable._   


-xXx-  


He and Castiel were best friends, everyone knew that. But no one knew the whole truth. His father, just like everyone else, was oblivious and often just yelled at him to get his head out of the clouds, but honestly, as long as Sam continued to bring home A's John Winchester could careless how his moods changed. Things were not so easy with Dean because his older brother knew him inside and out, even after living on his own for almost a year now. Dean had moved into the studio apartment over the garage that he worked at. He paid a small rent for the whole place with the cars he fixed up. It wasn’t anything fancy but it was cheap because the owner needed someone to keep an eye out for the old cars that were parked in the large lot that surrounded the place. Dean was often busy but he came to check up on Sam at least once a week, occasionally taking him out for burgers and a couple of cheap flavorless beers. Dean knew something was going on, Sam could tell, but he hadn’t brought it up so Sam didn’t either. “Earth to Sammy…” his brother’s voice cut into his thoughts “hey kid, I said what color is your date wearing?” Dean cocked an eyebrow at him. “Uh- yea, uh, blue- light blue,” Like an angel Sam thought, just barely keeping the words from escaping his mouth  


A female clerk appeared suddenly, her voice and personality taking up far more room than her small 5’2” frame needed. She fussed over the brothers like a mother would, her peach colored tweed dress and blazer adding to her motherly authority. She had completed her waist and inseam measurements before Sam realized what was happening. A stepping stool materialized from seemingly nowhere and she was suddenly face to face with Sam, whipping her measuring tape about and going on about how proud their mother must be to have such handsome boys. “Alright young man! Give me just a moment and I be back with some selections- blue, did you say?” and without waiting for the answer she was lost among the racks. 

“So…” the drawn out syllable made Sam cringe. The jig was up. Sam ducked his head which made his hair fall forward around his face. “You gonna cut that before prom night right?” Dean finished quickly, not even trying to hide the toothy grin that always made Sam laugh. Sam laughed, releasing a breath he had been holding “I think I will keep it Dean. It’s kind of… me. If you know what I mean.” Dean rolled his eyes dramatically, “Okay Samantha. Just try not to outshine your date, the ladies hate that…” his brother trailed off as he watched a large rack of suits rolling in their direction, the small lady clerk hidden somewhere within. The rack stopped in front of the dressing rooms and like a genie the peach colored clerk appeared and whisked Sam into the first changing room with a gray suit. Sam stared at his reflection for a moment and took a deep breath. Alright, time to get to work. 

-xXx-  


Dean whistled loudly as Sam stepped from the dressing room for the fourth time that night. “Alright Sammy! That’s the one!” He wore a wine colored, single breasted suit with a smooth powder blue shirt underneath. It needed tailoring but it was just what Sam was looking for. The color was strong but not flashy and the powder blue provided a beautiful contrast. Cas will love it Sam thought as he smiled wistfully at his reflection. The fairy clerk flitted about Sam tugging here and squeezing there all the while pouring on the compliments about how the wine gave his hair highlights and the blue complimented his eyes. The old tailor materialized as if he was on some telepathic wavelength with the magical fairy lady and began pinning the pants and suit jacket in all the spots the lady had tugged. “So Sammy, spill it,” Dean cut in over the commotion of the tiny people that chatted and worked around him. Sam raised an eyebrow at him as he stood with both arms stretched out at his sides. “Don’t give me that look. You’ve been walking around here with stars in your eyes for months and I want to know what it’s all about.” Dammit, leave it to Dean to read him like a book, Sam thought, but he couldn’t hide his smile.  


“At least tell me what she’s like,” Dean bargained.  


“What do you want to know Dean?”  


“Keep it simple. Hair color.” Dean shrugged.  


“Really dark brown… with some reddish streaks here and there…”  


“Nice Sammy, brunette. Okay, eyes?” he continued.  


“Oh man… they’re the deepest blue, like sapphires. They turn down a little and you could say they look a little sad… if you don’t know – her – well...” his voice trailed off.  


“Damn Sammy. You are stuck aren't you?” Dean laughed.  


Sam just shook his head. “I knew you wouldn't understand…”  


“Who the hell said I didn't understand? I get it… that’s why it’s funny.” Dean trailed off. The tailor and the clerk had melted into the surroundings again leaving the brothers alone. Dean looked down at his shoes. “No, I get it Sam… sometimes… it’s like- their laugh is the only air in your lungs… or their smile might be the only sunshine you see all day... The one person that can take your shitty day and make it disappear.”  


Sam’s eyes were wide with awe at what he was hearing from his big brother's mouth. It was like he had taken words that Sam didn't know he needed and handed them to him for future reference. Dean looked up at Sam’s face. “Alright, alright! Enough with the lovesick talk. Go get out of that so they can get to work on it.” Sam grinned and went back into the dressing room to pull off the suit. Maybe this plan wouldn't turn out so bad after all.  



	2. Castiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel is very fashion savvy
> 
> Flashback: Cas is fed up, Sam makes an offer

Castiel had been very specific about the colors and look of their attire. “Nothing gaudy or too matchy (finger quotations added for emphasis) but clean lines with eye catching accents,” he remembered telling Sam. This was crucial because Sam’s sense of style included stone washed denim, track suits, and sweaters of various colors. He had even pulled out the Macy’s catalog with several marked pages to give the fashionably challenged young man a few idea’s. All attempts to remain focused and to ignore Sam’s soft lips against the back of his neck proved futile. Prom was going to be a big night for them, the biggest night of their lives quite possibly and Castiel just wanted it to be perfect. He looked at his suit hanging in his closet where it had been for the last three days, perfectly tailored and waiting for him to slip his body into it. His mother had swooned at his final fitting at the tailor, gushing with the secretary about how handsome her son was and finishing it off with tears because “they grow up so fast.” His father, a district Judge, beamed with pride and slapped him hard across the back. He had reason to be proud. Castiel was graduating from LawHigh with honors and had already been accepted to several Universities for their Pre-Medical programs. He was student council Prom committee chairman. He was even voted “Most Likely to Succeed” in the yearbooks superlative awards. His life was perfect… that’s what everyone told him and everyone can’t be wrong. Right? Bullshit, he thought to himself. Everyone could be completely wrong about life. They didn’t know anything about him. Besides, everyone wasn’t there to stop the tears from flowing when he and Sam met behind the school about a month ago. There was only Sam.

_-One Month Ago-_

_He had steeled himself as he watched Sam round the corner, hands shoved down into his pockets, and that grin smeared across his face. He forced a smile onto his face but it had been too late, Sam’s smile faded and his brow crinkled with concern, his pace quickened. Sam had a way of washing away any wall Castiel managed to build with big puppy eyes of his and this was no different. Tears started before Castiel realized what was happening and suddenly he was engulfed in strong arms._

_“Cas, what is it?” He could hear the warmth and concern in Sam’s voice which barely concealed the rage that seemed to constantly simmer beneath his skin these days, aimed at the nonexistent beings that dared ridicule their relationship. He and Sam’s love was forbidden and therefore a secret. With their secret came fear of exposure, the pain of rejection, and anger at the need to be hidden at all. “It’s stupid, it’s nothing…” Castiel had said and while pulling himself out of the embrace. “If you are upset enough to cry there is no way it’s nothing… even if it is stupid,” Sam had smiled down at Cas and wiped tears from his cheek. He pushed Sam playfully but had failed at making him move even an inch. Damn, jocks. “Did you get your year book yet?” he asked. “Sure thing, let’s take a look,” he sat himself on the ground with his back to the brick wall and pulled Cas down with him. “Turn to page eighty-three,” Castiel said with a sigh. Sam had gasped dramatically, “Dun-Dun-Dun, Oh no not page eighty-three, Duuuuun!” he joked gently. Cas rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress his smile. “Just do it, dork.”_

_The page was another superlative award, “Most Likely to be Best Friends Forever”, and below it was a full page picture of them. Castiel was shown sitting on a classroom desk, elbows resting on his knees, with his feet in the chair smiling at the camera, looking happy but a bit startled. Sam had his arm thrown comfortably around Cas’ neck with a huge grin on his face but instead of looking at the camera Sam’s face was slightly turned and his eyes were looking at Castiel’s face. Sam studied the picture, his face still, his eyes moving over every inch of what he saw before him. “What is it Cas?” Sam whispered…_

_“Best friends forever?” Cas had questioned._

_“But you are my best friend...” Sam finally looked at Cas, eyes full of misunderstanding._

_“Sam, look at us. We are so much more than that,” Castiel’s voice had cracked as tears threatened to break free once again “I am so sick of hiding…”_

_Sam’s eyes widened when he realized what Castiel truly meant. They just stared at each other. A moment passed, then two, then three. Just as Cas had begun to believe he had pushed Sam into a seizure like state the young man spoke up. “I am too Cas…” he touched Castiel’s cheek with his thumb. Then they looked through the entire year book together, laughing at their friends and each other, and talking about prom. Castiel jumped up when he realized an hour had passed and that he needed to get home to meet his mother. Sam grabbed his arm before he disappeared “Cas,” but the taller boy had hesitated and Castiel had been impatient “I have to go Sam, my mom—”_

_“Go to prom with me,” Sam has pushed the words out so fast Cas had almost misunderstood. Castiel’s lungs were suddenly empty of air, rendering him speechless. His mouth twitched, wanting to respond but unable to form the sounds it needed. Sam looked at him with such longing in those hazel eyes that his heart began to skip beats. Instead, Castiel took the two steps to close the gap between them and pushed himself up on the balls of his feet to meet Sam’s lips. Their lips had locked in the perfect way they always did. Warm and familiar. Cas raised a hand and carded it through Sam’s long brown hair, winning a breathy moan in the process. He pulled away and chuckled a bit to see his rather large boyfriend attempting to follow, eyes closed and lips poked out. Sam smiled and opened his dreamy eyes as Cas slowly backed away. He hadn’t wanted to leave but there was no other choice. He gave a small wave and then turned and bolted down the sidewalk towards the fence that surrounded the school. He kept running. He remembered feeling the need to run because the opposing force, Sam’s pull on him, was too strong to walk away from. He had run because the feel of Sammy’s lips on his had given him wings on his back that propelled him towards his destination. He had run without stopping because if he didn’t, his heart was sure to explode into a thousand tiny pieces._

-xXx-

Cas sighed and fell back onto his bed. He contemplated the plan for prom night, turning it over and over, going over every scenario possible. Each one ended with his father’s disappointment and rejection. He saw his mother crying and accusing him of robbing her of grandchildren. His throat began to tighten. He never asked to be who he was so why should he be punished for it? He heard what they said on TV about gays. The way ignorant people hated them and blamed them for the spread of AIDS problem. It was part of why he wanted to be a doctor. He knew it wasn’t true, the CDC had research to prove as much. That fact did not stop him from feeling shame about who he was. There had not been any problems dealing with his attraction to boys, at his age it was easy to not have a girlfriend. He planned to get as far away from Lawrence as he could when he went off to college so it would be easy enough to not bring a girl home for visits. That gave him at least eight more years… well that was before he met Sam. Sam had changed everything.


	3. Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback: First Kiss

Sam walked to and from school every day because his house was only about a half mile from the school. His dad offered multiple times his sophomore year after Dean had graduated and gotten a job but Sam always refused. He like the exercise it provided and the fact that he would always meet one of his friends along the way. He wished he could meet up with Castiel, who was also within walking distance of the school, but his house was on The Other Side. The Other Side was literally the neighborhood on the other side of LawHigh. All of the wealthy families of Lawrence lived in those sprawling neighborhoods, with their pools and playgrounds, and most of their kids went to private schools. Castiel once told Sam how he had begged his parents to let him attend LawHigh. The boy had even appealed to his father by implying that faith in the public school system portrayed him as a believer in community. He was only thirteen at the time. Sam and his buddies arrived at school a little late as usual, perk of being an athlete, and ran down the halls to their homerooms. Sam slipped through the door at the back of the science lab that doubled as Mr. Godfrey’s homeroom. The very last lab bench was where he and Castiel shared their space. Mr. Godfrey was slowly calling roll, his bifocal glasses hanging down on his nose, and was somewhere in the Fs.  


“Hey you,” Cas whispered as he sat down. Sam swung his backpack onto the bench top and turned to face his friend. “Hey,” he whispered back and grinned. Castiel looked over and slapped a hand over his mouth to keep his laugh down. “Sam, your hair.” Sam’s hair was wind swept from the running through the halls and spinning around any student or teacher he ran into. “Do you like it?” Sam asked, playfully batting his eyelashes. Cas nodded “I do… a lot.” Castiel had been whispering the entire time but the way he said those words made Sam blush. Sam, contrary to popular belief, was quite shy. He knew he didn’t have to be when it came to Cas because he trusted him, however, that never stopped his face from flushing when Cas complimented him like that.  


These were not just any compliments, but the kind that Castiel alone could give. His blue eyes would darken and he would look at Sam with such purpose it felt as if he looked into the young man’s soul. Then he would let the words drip from his lips, as hot as wax, and onto Sam’s exposed skin. Sam felt a thousand other women, men, or whomever could say the same thing and it wouldn’t come close to the affect Cas had on him. Sam had never really been in a relationship with anyone, except once in middle school when he took Cassandra Mayor to the school dance and she told everyone they were dating. When he broke up with her a week later Dean had a fit and asked him why. His response was that he barely knew her and she had tried to kiss him.  


Sam ducked his head and ran his hands through his hair. He smiled over at Cas “Thanks,” he whispered. Unlike Cassandra, Sam knew Cas very well and he remembered their first awkward kiss like it was yesterday.

_-Their First Kiss-_

_The boys had been studying together for about a year and they ended up at the Novak’s residence one fateful Thursday during their sophomore year. Like many other days Sam and Cas had goofed off along the way and had burst into the back door of the spacious two story home out of breath. They made a quick run through the kitchen to grab snacks from the abundantly stocked pantry and for Castiel to kiss his mother on the cheek. She, as always, asked Sam if he would like to stay with them for dinner, giving him a small wink. She knew the answer but was always delighted to see Sam’s dimpled grin and to hear the tall boy say “Yes ma’am.” Mrs. Novak told them to be down at six and they both nodded eagerly, it was spaghetti night after all._

_They bounded up the stairs, careful not to drop the copious amounts of chips, fruit, and drinks they carried in their arms. They threw the snacks onto the bed, stretched out on the floor, and opened their backpacks. “So- American history? Or Political Science?” Cas’ face twisted into the universal symbol for I’m Dead, his tongue hanging out to one side and his eyes rolled back into his head. Sam laughed and pulled the American History text book from his backpack. Cas sighed and rolled his eyes “Well, I’ll need extra sustenance for this.” He began to crawl across the floor towards Sam. Sam’s breath caught in his throat for a second and he was unsure of what to do. Suddenly the room was hot and the sunlight coming through the windows was too bright. The seconds it took Castiel to get cross the floor seemed like minutes, minuets in which Sam had lost all ability to think or move. The piercing blue of Castiel’s eyes had him pinned against the side of the bed with his sweaty fingers glued to the floor. Castiel stretched his arm out over Sam’s shoulder, his sleeve ever so slightly brushing against the panicked teen’s cheek. Sam breathed in Cas’ smell, Ivory soap and the sweet smell of clean sweat, and it made his eyes fall shut. “Bingo!” Castiel pulled out a hidden stash of licorice and dropped it in Sam’s lap proudly. “Uh- Cas…” Sam could barely contain his giggles as he pressed his lips together. “What?” Castiel questioned, his head tilted slightly. “I’m sorry man, but I hate licorice.” Sam melted into his laughter. “What? Well your loss,” Castiel snatched the bag of candy from Sam’s lap and shoved the end of a licorice stick into the corner of his mouth. The way he looked made Sam lose it all over again and he rolled onto the floor, holding his sides. When he got himself together the boys completed their American History project and studied for an upcoming exam. Afterwards they talked, mostly about school._

_“You know Cindy McBride likes you right?” Cas said aloud. He was looking down and picking at his jeans when he said it, not bothering to look up._

_“Ugh, gross Cas!” Sam lamented._

 _“What- what’s wrong with Cindy McBride?” Castiel looked up at Sam intently “You should ask her out.”_

_“For one- I don’t like her like that. Two- she only likes me because coach put me on the varsity team.” Sam gestured wildly with his hands as if it would make what he said any clearer._

_“At least someone likes you,” a grin threatened to show as the corners of Cas’ mouth. “Besides, she’s a cheerleader… Don’t all jocks want to date a—”_

_“That’s it!” Sam grabbed the closest pillow and flung it at Castiel who raised his hands in defense at the last moment. Sam pulled two more pillows down from the bed and launched himself at the giggling heap on the floor. “You shall pay for this insult!” he bellowed with both pillows raised above his head. Cas could only laugh and, unsuccessfully, defend himself with the one pillow he had. Sam knew he was bigger and stronger, he was just a sophomore but he stood tall at six feet already, compared to his friends meager 5’7” frame. Well, meager when standing next to Sam. He released the pillows and used his long fingers to tickle Castiel’s sides._

_“No- oh, no- I can’t,” Cas gasped between fits._

_“What wrong? Want me to stop?” Sam teased._

_“Oh god- oh- yes,” Cas cackled and nodded frantically as tears ran down his face._

_Sam leaned over Castiel and stopped for just a moment, “Then make me,” he challenged._

_Sam slid his hands under Cas’ shirt quickly and continued his tactile assault. Castiel yelped and was laughing again, grabbing at Sam’s arms and shoulders. “Wait, wait- oh,” Cas panted the words making Sam lean closer to hear him beg. He was looking down at Castiel’s face when a hand wrapped around the back of his neck. He didn’t even have time to think; it happened so fast. Castiel had pulled Sam’s face down to his and pressed their lips together, for just a moment, but it was enough to get his full attention. A shock of electricity shot through his body starting at the place of contact._

_He pulled back far enough to study those blue eyes, the way they darted back and forth nervously. Cas was chewing on his bottom lip as if waiting for Sam to get up and walk out of the door, possibly tell his mother what happened, and never return. Sam saw all of this running across his best friend’s face. He suddenly realized that he wanted more of that electricity, he wanted more of Castiel’s soft lips against his. He leaned back down, before his nerve abandoned him, and gently pressed his lips against his friends. He couldn’t believe how soft they felt against his mouth. Cas trembled beneath him, so Sam brought a hand up to Cas’ cheek to steady him. He didn’t want Cas to pull away so he closed his eyes, hoping that would pin them to this moment and keep him from disappearing. He turned his head for better access to Castiel’s mouth like he had seen the characters on television do. He had never kissed anyone before, if you didn’t count Big Becky who held him down on the playground in fourth grade. This was nothing like that, he could taste Cas’ lips, they were sweet from the fruit and candies they had been eating. Cas opened his mouth ever so slightly. Sam found that he liked Cas’ bottom lip, it was a little bigger than the top one and it fit in his mouth perfectly. He pulled at it gently with his mouth and gave it a small suck. His eyes popped open when Castiel let out a breathy moaned in response. He was completely shocked; both at the fact that Cas had made the sound and that he had been the cause of such euphoric tones. The hair on his body stood on end and he felt heat pooling around his groin. “Boys, time to wash up for dinner!” Cas’ mother called up the stairwell._

_He fell back against the bed quickly, fear consuming him for a moment, he was completely wrecked. His track pants were bulging from the very obvious hard-on that he was sporting and from what he could see of Castiel still sprawled across the floor, he wasn’t in any better shape. He scrubbed his hands through his hair in an attempt to clear his foggy mind. “How long have you known?” Cas’ voice was just a whisper. Sam looked up at him not really willing to meet his icy blue stare. “I should probably call Dean to come get me…” he said weakly. Sam had felt ashamed of dodging Cas’ questions but he knew he wasn’t been ready for that conversation at that point. “Okay Sam,” Cas got up slowly and stretched the transparent green phone receiver over to Sam “Okay.” Cas excused himself to his adjoining bathroom and didn’t come back out until Sam climbed into Dean’s car and rode away._

-xXx-

Sam and Castiel didn’t have many classes together like they did in ninth and tenth grade but that didn’t stop them from walking together in the halls. They walked along talking to friends along the way. Castiel was always great with the ladies and almost every girl worth talking to stopped him to talk and laugh or just openly flirt with him. He was the envy of many guys in the school, all of whom were convinced that Cas was having his way with each and every one of his fangirls. Sam knew this wasn’t true but never denied or confirmed the rumors. The envy never became aggressive because honestly most of the guys where friends with Castiel too. He was just an all-around stand-up guy. He could make people laugh, he would listen to their deepest secrets and never tell, he never made anyone feel unpopular or unwanted. Sam stood against his locker surrounded by four of his teammates and a few cheerleaders, including a dewy eyed Cindy McBride. It had been two years and she had never given up on a chance at Sam’s heart. 

The conversation buzzed around him like white noise but his eyes had drifted over the heads of students that filled the hall. Cas stood in a corner with several prom committee members and his arm was thrown across the shoulders of a pretty girl that Sam couldn’t remember ever meeting. The group was completely enthralled by what he was saying; their eyes were wide with interest and they laughed along with his story. The corner of Sam’s mouth turned up slightly as he thought of he and Cas sitting quietly in his room for hours, both stretched across his bed, reading or listening to music. Nothing like what he saw now, yet, he felt no need to separate the two. This was who Castiel was as much as those quiet moments were. 

“Sam.” He looked down and realized Cindy had made her way over next to him and his team mates had abandoned him to chase some girls to their classes. Her eyes were gunmetal gray and so big that they looked animated. “Hey… Cindy,” Sam straightened from his place against the locker. Cindy had yellow hair and was dwarfed by Sam at only a little over five feet tall. She often wore low cut shirts that revealed an enormous amount of cleavage almost every day. Tweety Bird, Sam thought, that who she looks like. “Um… maybe you could walk me to class?” she said hopefully. Sam immediately looked across the hall for Castiel. He felt his heart sink when he found Cas, still with his group of friends, slamming his locker and turning to walk to class. Cas looked back and gave Sam a small smile and a head nod to go ahead. Sam squinted his eyes in confusion but Cas just turned back to his group and moved along with them. “Uh- yea, sure Cindy,” he looked down at her again just in time to see her break into a smile of relief. 

“Okay, I’m going to Mrs. Hart’s class, just a few doors past your class… so if won’t be out of the way!”

“I heard Mrs. Hart is a stickler.” Sam attempted.

“Yea, she is…” Cindy looked at her pink nails thoughtfully. “Sam?”

Sam managed not to let her see him cringe. He knew what was next. “Yea, Cin?”

“So… I hear that…. Um, you haven’t asked anyone to Prom yet,” she rung her hands together as she spoke but Sam was silent as he walked next to her so she pressed on. “And you know, um, no one has asked me, so…” 

Sam face felt hot and he wished the floor would open and swallow him whole. “Cindy, I’m sorry but I wasn’t really planning to ask anyone…”

“You’re not? I mean, it’s totally your choice,” she looked up at his reddened face. Her eyes widened “oh god! I’m so sorry Sam. I’m such and idiot… You already have a date don’t you?” Sam snapped his head up in surprise.

“W-what?” was all he could manage to say.

“Sam, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” she turned and walked into her classroom before Sam could get in another word.


	4. Castiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's frantic/Cas is cool about it
> 
> Flashback: Sam and Cas have THE conversation

Castiel  
Castiel was in drama class completely zoned out; he chewed rebelliously on a stick of spearmint gum as he sat in the sound booth thinking. His drama instructor, Ms. Cringle, adored him and allowed him so much autonomy he pretty much ran the theater department now. Castiel never used this power to alter any theater matters, however, he was guilty of using his key to the sound booth to his own advantage a few times. He was practically Ms. Cringle’s assistant at this point so he knew her schedule for the theater and would occasionally pull Sam into the dark room when he knew the coast was clear. At times they would just talk about nothing… or everything. On other occasions the make out sessions would be so intense that it left them both unsuitable to be in public. Sadly today was not one of those days.

Sam had found Castiel at their lunch hour and dragged him outside into the courtyard. He was worried about the conversation he had with Cindy McBride, she knows, he kept saying. Castiel had assured him that it was a misunderstanding but Sam didn’t relax until he promised to talk to her himself. Cindy had come to him several times over the last two years and spewed her “feelings” for Sam all over him. In the beginning he had found it cute how she crushed on Sam, now it was just tedious. He told her two months back to just have the conversation with him- He’ll never know if you don’t tell him- now he could only berate himself for being so selfish. He knew Sam would turn her down, knew that she would be mortified (possibly heartbroken), but at least she would shut up about it. 

Castiel felt the clinch of guilt in his chest squeeze a little tighter. He wanted Cindy to take a hike but he never wanted to stress Sam out like he did. Shit. Now he would have to tell Sam that he had sent Cindy his way. He closed his eyes and swung his feet up onto the sound board. Shit. Cindy could never have understood Sam anyway. Unlike other guys, Sam didn’t throw himself at the girls just because they smiled at him and he didn’t get a rise out of some cheerleader pushing her cleavage into his face, which happened often. He was different. Not like any guy Cas had ever met.

_-The Conversation-_

_Castiel had been sure that after the kiss Sam would never speak to him again. He had taken a chance and acted on what he was feeling. Cas knew he was gay since his first crush in fifth grade. He was an Italian boy named Angelo with olive skin and jet black hair. Castiel’s young eyes had never seen anything so beautiful. After Angelo there was a long string of infatuations never acted on and yearning never satisfied. What he and Sam had shared the day before was not Cas’ first kiss but it was the first kiss that felt right to him._

_He played the moment over in his head as he walked towards the school, trying desperately to figure out what went wrong. The back of the main building came into sight as he walked along the Other Side fence which was about half of a football field long. The fence separated the street from the old overgrown baseball diamond at the back of the school. He turned to open the gate but stopped abruptly when he saw the figure standing in the old dugout. His heart leapt into his throat. Sam was standing there watching him as if he knew Cas would come this way and had been waiting. Castiel took a moment to calm himself and pushed open the gate. Walking across the sandy grass took what seemed like an eternity and one second all at once. This was it. Sam was about to call him a freak and tell him to never talk to him again._

_“Hey,” Sam murmured as Castiel stepped down into the dugout area. “Hey Sam.” Castiel replied as he gently kicked sand around with the toe of his shoe. “Cas… I’m not gay.” Castiel’s head shot up to meet Sam’s eyes for a moment before he spun around to leave. His eyes burned from the tears that inevitably came anytime he was hurt. Why am I such a baby, he thought angrily. He stomped up the stairs but Sam grabbed his backpack before he broke into a sprint._

_“Cas, just wait. At least let me finish,” Sam pleaded “if you still want to leave after that fine.”_

_“Fine,” he swung around to dislodge Sam’s hand and sat on the edge of the dugout. A tear escaped his eye but Castiel swiped it away quickly._

_“I… I’m not gay. I don’t like guys, I mean-- I don’t go for guys, but I… don’t go for girls either. I don’t know how to explain it…” Sam sighed deeply. “I want a person to really like me for me and for me to like them for who they are, not because I play varsity… I just never thought that person would be… you know.”_

_“A boy Sam? Is that what you mean?” Cas snapped but all the fire that want meant to be there was gone._

_“Yea… or my best friend.” Sam replied, barely above a whisper. “I just… don’t want this, whatever this is, to end.”_

_Cas stared at his companion for a long quiet moment. He didn’t quite understand what Sam was trying to say about his attraction to him. “So… you like me back?” Sam just nodded in reply. “but because I’m a boy you just want to be best friends.”_

_“No… I think us being best friends is what makes me want this more. You being a boy was just… a surprise,” Cas watched Sam move to sit next to him as he spoke “I mean… you’re amazing Cas. You’re funny and smart, you make people feel good, and with you I can just be me.”_

_“So me being, you know, GAY, doesn’t make you want to run screaming?”_

_Sam gave a pained smile “I’ve heard things about gay people, you know, bad things but I’ve never met anyone like that before… Well until now,” he reached out and touched Cas’ finger “and if you’re an example of what gay people are like, then I’d say they've got it wrong.”_

_Castiel had never heard anyone even speak of gay people like normal human beings, let alone say positive things. The only reason he knew anything was because he did his research. He stopped by the library as often as he could to read the latest of the gay rights movement that was happening seemingly everywhere but Lawrence, Kansas. He huffed indignantly at the tears that rolled down his cheeks as he wiped them away with the back of a hand. He turned his other hand over to entwine it with Sam’s._

_“You know we can’t tell anyone about this, right?” he said under his breath, suddenly feeling like the breeze itself would carry their words away as gossip._

_“I thought as much,” Sam replied “just for now.”_

_“Okay Sam. Just for now.” With that they reluctantly freed their hands and left the dugout, headed for the main building._

-xXx-

Drama was Castiel’s last period of the day so when the bell rang he said goodbye to Ms. Cringle and walked into the hall. He knew that he saw Cindy at her locker after school sometimes so he thought he would start there. Castiel was not a jerk. He was known as genuine and trustworthy guy, he just never felt right about mistreating people. So naturally he felt like a pile of steaming hot dung at the moment. He just wanted to come clean and get all of this off his chest… tomorrow. “Great,” he muttered under his breath when he saw Cindy putting books onto the top shelf of her locker.

He had hoped he could put if off for one more day but that was not how his luck worked and he wasn’t the type to shy away from a promise to Sam. He stopped and leaned against the locker next to hers, still chewing his gum, and looked down at his short friend. Castiel had finally made it to 5’11” the summer before his senior year, much to Sam’s amusement. Sam had teased him for a whole month, kissing his forehead and saying that they could finally kiss without him bending at the knees or sitting down. Right now standing next to Cindy he felt like a giant. She was intentionally not looking at him but she knew he was there because he could see the redness starting to show in her cheeks. 

“Cin,” he said trying to break the ice. 

“He told you, didn’t he,” she swung around suddenly. “Oh God, I feel so humiliated Castiel!” 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. Tell me what happened.” He gently put his arm around her shoulder and turned her to face her locker when he saw her big gray eyes go watery. 

“He told me he wasn’t going to ask anybody to the Prom,” she laughed “Can you believe that? Sam Winchester going to prom alone? That- that’s _almost_ as silly as _you_ going to prom alone Cas.” 

“Cindy… I am sorry.” 

“What? Why? You didn’t make him lie to me Cas,” she said in his defense. 

“He didn’t lie Cin. He told me his plan a while ago.” Castiel couldn’t look her in the eye when he said it. “I knew and I told you to talk to him anyway. I’m sorry.” 

“No Cas,” she pleaded “this isn’t your fault! You did what you thought would help me… geez, all this time you’ve had to put up with me talking about Sam and you never once turned your back on me…” 

She slammed her locker and looked at Cas with sad eyes “Sam is lucky to have you as a best friend.” 

Cindy pushed up on her toes and gave Castiel a small kiss on his cheek and then just turned and walked away. He had not considered the possibility of feeling worse about this situation than he already did, but here he was standing next to Cindy’s locker feeling like a complete asshole. He caught a few underclassmen near the water fountain staring at him. They probably thought he just got dumped in the nicest way possible. He just pushed off the locker and walked away from their stares. It was Friday which meant it was game day for Sam, which would give him time to get his thoughts together at least. He headed in the direction of the gym to meet up with Sam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this far! As you saw in the fic tags Sam is demisexual (with no gender preference). Here I attempted to have teen!Sam explain his sexuality while not knowing what it is himself. He has the feelings but, since it is the mid-80s in Kansas, there are no words as cool as Demi that he can use but he tries to explain the best he can.
> 
> That said, I am a heterosexual adult female writing from a Demisexual teenage boy's POV. I hope that I have done justice to demisexuality while staying true to who Sam's character is in the story. **PLEASE** leave a comment below and let me know what you think. 
> 
> Also if I am failing to represent homosexuals and demisexuals in an un(Het)biased way at ANY time during this little story, please pass me a tissue (leave a comment), the Het goggles sometimes get a little foggy. B-]


	5. Sam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's biggest game yet. Coach is onto him and Cas, thank god he's like a second father to him and loves him like his own.  
> \---  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1/26/17- wow, some major typos here... I plan to reedit and finish this fic in the coming months so please bear with me!! No beta.

Sam jogged slowly down the court as he and his teammates passed the ball around. Coach never wanted them to practice to hard before a game for fear of injury. So the boys would work on slow moving assists, free throws, and anything else he suggested. Sam knew that Castiel would show up in the bleachers and read or study as he worked out, it’s what he always did, for every game (and some practices) since tenth grade. He glanced around but didn’t see his friend so he focused on passing the ball down court. Coach Singer called them over about fifteen minutes later to give them a new drill to work on. Sam’s stood, as usual a head above everyone else so he noticed immediately when Castiel walked through the double doors at the end of the gym.

He was wearing his favorite tan Members Only jacket with a blue and white shirt underneath, but he was different than he was this afternoon at lunch. Sam could tell by the way his shoulders sagged a bit, Cas never slouched, and the way his brow was set as if in deep thought. Castiel sat midway up the bleachers and pulled out a textbook and started reading, not bothering to even look in Sam’s direction. The team ran back out to the court and started running the drill coach had requested but Sam was still a little distracted. Finally Castiel looked up and Sam nodded his head at him, furrowing his brow to further relay the “what’s going on” message. Castiel just waved it off with the flick of his hand that Sam hated; more because he hated waiting than him thinking Castiel was keeping secrets. 

Alright, later then, Sam thought. He was up next in the drill so he ran and swung around one of his teammates just in time to catch the ball. Without thinking he jumped and landed the shot, no rim, just the sweet whoosh sound of the net. Seeing Sam make a shot made the guys stop, suddenly they were whooping and hollering and running straight for him. Sam’s face was bright red but he couldn’t stop laughing as his team patted him and scrubbed his hair roughly. His point guard had even jumped on his back, whooping in celebration. When Sam looked up he caught a glimpse of Castiel whistling and pumping his fist in the air from the bleachers. “Alright guys! Let the boy breath already,” Coach Singer grumped. They all let go of Sam and started towards the locker rooms. 

“Hey kid,” Coach Singer walked over to Sam. He and Sam’s father, John, had known each other for years since they both went to LawHigh back in there day. He knew that their dad loved them but never got over the passing of their mother, which made it harder on the boys. So he took both Sam and Dean under his wing as the matriculated through LawHigh. “Hey Coach Bobby. You saw that shot, huh?” Sam grinned from ear to ear.

“Oh I saw it alright. Do me a favor will yah, shoot like that tonight,” he slapped Sam on the shoulder as he said it shooting him a smile. “Now go on… you’ve got three minutes,” He nodded at Sam’s confused look “he’s waiting boy, now hurry up.” Sam could not believe what he was hearing, Coach was like an uncle to him but he was so sure that he and Cas had played it smooth. Dean had noticed a change but he was too preoccupied with life to notice the small details. He was speechless so he just backed away slowly and then turned to jog across the gym. He took the steps two at a time and dropped down next to Castiel who had his nose in a novel. 

“Well, Uncle Bobby knows,” he muttered, using the name that he and Dean used outside of the school setting. 

“Of course he does,” Cas replied nonchalantly, turning a page.

“What? W-why would you say that?”

Castiel sighed and leaned back “Well he is practically like a second dad to you and Dean. He deals with a team full of hormonal teenage boys for a living… I think he’s got “reading Sam Winchester” in the bag.”

Sam stared at Cas in astonishment.

“Cindy McBride however, totally clueless.”

“Oh, thank god.” He sighed in relief, leaning back beside Castiel. “Was she okay?”

“Yea… well, she thought you were lying, but I think she will be okay.”

Sam let out a loud laugh “Me-- lying?”

“Sam, these girls idolize you. You’re smart, tall, you play varsity, and you’re not so bad to look at.” 

“Whoa, mister popular, you have the girls and the guys kissing the ground you walk on…. You are LawHigh’s most wanted.”

It was Castiel’s turn to laugh and he gave Sam a shove. Coach Singer appeared at the locker room access door and summoned Sam with a tweet of his whistle. Sam got up, disappointed about leaving Cas but excited about the big game that night as well. 

“Hey Sammy,” Cas called sheepishly making him stop, “maybe you could crash at my place tonight, go over some prom stuff… and it’s Friday so no school.” “I’d like that Cas,” he said with a smile as he turned and bounded down the bleachers.

“Good game, huh?” Castiel called after him. Sam turned, jogging backwards, and gave him a wink; Cas ducked behind his book again to hide his silly grin. 

-xXx-

The students that filled the bleachers in the gym went wild when the buzzer blared announcing the end of the game and a victory for the LawHigh Lettermen. The boys on the floor literally threw themselves together in a heap in celebration, Sam having the honor of being at the very bottom. He had played the best game of his career at LawHigh and everyone was delirious with school spirit, had this been college they would have probably gone out for drinks right afterwards. Alas, they were all young and expected home by a certain hour so the chattering students started filing out of the gym followed by the families of some of the team members and cheer squad. Heavy negotiations were being made about who would stay where that night, reinforced by the fact that it was Friday night. 

Sam and the rest of the boys showered quickly and threw on their jeans or track suits, not wanting to miss a minute of celebration, or the attention of the girls that lingered about after every victory game. Sam was last out of the locker room after giving up on his attempt to completely dry his hair. He flat out refused to bring in a hair dryer, the guys would never let him live it down. 

“Hey kiddo, good game tonight,” Coach Singer called to him as he passed the office. 

“Thanks Uncle Bobby.” Sam grinned proudly. 

“Come on over let me talk to you. It will only take a minute.” 

“Uh okay, I think Dean—“ 

“I talked to Dean, he’s outside parked waiting for you,” the older man said with raised brows indicating that he wasn’t really asking. Sam stepped inside the office reluctantly, fidgeting with his backpack, and waiting for the bomb to drop. 

“Now, you know I care a lot about you boys… The team yes, but you and that knuckle head brother of yours are like family to me.” Sam felt his heart sinking into his shoes. “So who you like doesn’t mean a rat’s ass to me… what matters is that you’re safe.” 

“Uncle Bobby—“ 

“Well, let me finish son,” he grouched, rubbing his beard in an effort to find the words he needed. “I don’t care, but I can’t speak for others, starting with your Dad but most importantly all the bigots that live around this town.” Bobby stood up and walked over to Sam. “But… as long as I’m around, you have a place to go… understand?” 

“Yes sir…” Sam looked at the man before him. If he had ever questioned if Bobby Singer was family before (which he hadn’t) he definitely knew now. 

“Now get, Dean’s waiting and you know that boy doesn’t have an ounce of patience in his body.” 

“See you Monday Uncle Bobby,” Sam smiled at his “uncle” one more time and turned away. 

Castiel was outside of the gym standing near Dean’s car with a mixed group of friends. Cindy McBride stood next to him with a solemn expression on her face and was the first so see him walking in their direction. She touched Castiel on the arm and nodded in Sam’s direction. “Cindy,” Sam said softly, he could see that Cas had already worked his magic on her but he wanted to be gentle about his approach. Castiel smiled down at her and side stepped his way around to the opposite side of the group. Sam noticed that from his position he could chat and laugh with his friends but would notice even the slightest sign that Sam needed help. 

“Hey Sam. Look… I am really sorry. Cas explained everything to me and I was just- stupid. You’ll forgive me right?” she forced the words out so quickly Sam had trouble keeping up. 

“Cindy, no. No really, I’m sorry. Please don’t blame yourself,” Sam knew how she felt about him since their sophomore year and he never gave her more than simple friendship. He felt he could have addressed it before now. He reached up and pushed some of her hair away from her face the way he saw Cas do sometimes when he was . “Someone will ask you to go… or go with your friends, I mean they are the ones that are always there for you right?” 

She looked surprised and horrified all at once. Her mouth was open, ready to say something but it didn’t come out. She looked down at her hands. 

“Just do me a favor Cin, whoever you do go with make sure they know how great you are, okay?” 

She looked up, huge eyes misted over. “Thanks Sam… that’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” She reached up with her arms and Sam bent down to give her a hug, playfully lifting her off her feet. Dean beeped his horn twice and Sam new that was the end of his patience. He and Castiel waved their goodbyes and walked over to the Impala. 

“Alright, alright we’re here!” Sam hopped into the front seat and Cas took the back. 

“I’m guessing that’s not the smokin’ hot babe you’re taking to prom, but _MAN_ ,” he drawled as he switched on the headlights. “All she needs is one more year on the shelf-“ 

“Dean!” Sam griped, stealing glances in the rearview at Castiel. His brother was such an embarrassment. 

“Oh Sammy, don’t get your panties in a bunch…. But really man--” 

“Just-- drive Dean.” 

“Alright relax… besides, what’d you say? Dark brown hair, fierce yet sad sapphire eyes—“ 

Sam was utterly mortified at this point and had seriously considered launching himself from the moving car into Death’s merciful embrace… Had to be better than what was happening at the moment. He couldn’t even bring himself to glance in the mirror at Castiel’s possibly horrified expressions. He sank further down in the seat. Suddenly Castiel’s face was between his and Dean’s. “Hey Dean, what else did he say to you?” Cas’ voice rumbled right in his ear. Yes, Death would be much more merciful than his brother and his boyfriend were. “Cas!” Sam slapped both hands over his face to shield his red cheeks from view. 

walking around quoting Shakespeare for the past few months so that could be some indication as to—“ 

“I need to go home to get my suit, then I am going to Cas’ house for the night.” 

Dean just gave him that suspicious sideways glance he used whenever he felt Sam was hiding something. “Alright. No problemo.” He could still feel their eyes on him as they moved through the last few blocks to the Winchester’s home.


	6. Castiel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Cas are dropped off at the Novak's home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read more link at the bottom takes you to Cas and Sam's first time (Explicit) I labeled this as Teen so I didn't want to change it for just one section. Click it if you wanna!
> 
> no beta, all mistakes are mine
> 
> I listened to Piano Sonata No. 14 (Moonlight Sonata) -Beethoven while writing this, hence the moon references. I also listened to it while writing Moonlight. So, if you're interested, here is a link:  
> [ Piano Sonata No. 14 (Moonlight Sonata) -Beethoven](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWmj1bMR4Mo)

When they arrived at the Novak’s Castiel thanked Dean for the ride and pulled himself up out of the back seat. He had never seen Sam in such a sour mood. His brother was a pain sometimes, but really caring… in the most annoying way possible. Either way, Cas would kill to have a sibling that looks out for him like Dean looks out for Sam. He trudged around the back of the house to unlock the door as Sam leaned in the window of the Impala to answer Dean’s questions. 

The house was completely dark save for the back light his mom always left on for him; it was past ten o’clock so he knew his parents would be sleeping when he got home. The Impala grumbled as Dean backed it out of the driveway headed for God knows where, usually some shady bar or gentlemen’s club. Sam was incredibly light on his feet for such a large person, Cas thought it made him graceful rather than a lumbering. When he appeared behind Castiel, who was still searching for his key in his bag, he placed his chin atop the dark mussed hair and leaned into him. They were both pretty fatigued, if not physically, then emotionally.

Castiel finally pushed open the door to the house and breathed deeply. He could smell the left overs his mother undoubtedly left for him and a smile crept across his face. They dumped their shoes and backpacks on the bench at the door and headed straight for the kitchen. There was a note attached to the refrigerator that read: Dinner inside all boxed up boys. Love –Mom. There were containers stacked on a shelf in the refrigerator full of the meal his mother had prepared that evening. Castiel pulled out three, peas, macaroni and cheese, and meat for sloppy joes. Sam threw his fist in the air, Bender style. “Food of the gods man,” he whispered passionately. Castiel choked down a laugh and loaded his plate with food. The Novak’s owned a microwave oven so it took no time for the boys to have hot dinners in front of them, nourishing their bodies. “Your mom is amazing,” Sam said softly after his second sloppy joe. “Yea I know…” Castiel looked down at his own empty plate. “Let me wash these really quick and then I need to have a shower.” 

-xXx-

Castiel could hear the water running in his bathroom as he laid sprawled across the bed in his pajamas. Pajamas meaning his favorite AC/DC t-shirt and a pair of black shorts. He busied his mind with prom details and graduation, anything to keep his mind off the shower and its occupant. He rolled onto his back and stared at the posters on his walls, it was dark but he had each one memorized. Most of them were signed Journey posters, his favorite band, but he had Queen, Madonna, Michael Jackson, and others. He was humming _Oh Sherrie_ when the bathroom door swung open and Sam stepped out in a cloud of steam. Castiel glanced sideways and was caught off guard by what he was seeing. Sam moved into the room with his gym bag in his hands, shuffling about putting things to the side and doing god knows what. Sam had the black track pants on that he always wore when relaxing but he wore nothing on his upper body. 

Castiel had seen Sam with shirtless before but now as he lay on his bed he could barely breath. Sam’s hair was still wet and it glistened in the moonlight that poured through the window. Water dripped down his face and chest, each trickle highlighted in the blue light. He was beautiful, strong muscles underneath smooth skin. He was a man, the only thing that could say otherwise was the lack of body hair and even then some fuzz had been advancing on his chin since last year. Castiel was not meager but he was nowhere close to Sam’s athletic stature. He was happy to be the manservant in the temple of a greek god. 

Castiel cursed himself for staring openly and for letting his mind wander in that direction. He didn’t feel bad about feeling it… it’s just that Sam wanted to wait, and that was fine, but Cas would sometimes torture himself with his own thoughts. Thoughts of that same greek god, stretched across velvet throws, dressed in nothing but his laurel leaf crown… Okay- back to reality. Reality, however, proved to be just as arousing as his fantasy, his teenage hormones raged against the machine that was his rational brain. Sam had his hands up drying his hair with a towel but, much to Castiel’s surprise, he was looking right at him. Shit, busted. Cas took a deep breath and looked at the ceiling again. How long had he been staring? How long had Sam known he was staring? 

He felt Sam pull the mattress from under the bed like he usually did. Cas’ mom made sure that it always had clean sheets on it when Sam came over to stay. Castiel closed his eyes as he listened to Sam grunt as he pulled the blankets back. He could smell him, even after showering, even with the smell of soap and shampoo lingering on his body; Cas could pick out the scent that was distinctively Sam Winchester. His body was at war with itself. A sudden weight on the edge of the bed brought him from his internal reverence of those aromas. Cas opened his eyes to see Sam’s face lingering over his, expressionless, just looking. He was kneeling on the pullout mattress and had rested his elbows on bed. “Sam…” he tried to say calmly but ended up disappointed that his voice wavered when he spoke. “Cas…”came the irritatingly calm reply. Is he trying to make me beg? Cas pondered. 

“This will all be over soon,” he attempted, even if it was just to keep Sam from noticing his compromised state. 

“Are you worried?” 

“I’m… terrified. My family--” his breath caught in his throat “they won’t accept it… Me.” 

“I’ll be there.” 

He turned his head to look at Sam again, “I know.” 

Sam’s thumb caught his chin and traced his lips. Castiel watched as Sam licked his own lips but wasn’t sure if what he was seeing was clouded by the heat that coursed through his body or it was actually happening. He and Sam were not strangers to intimacy, when they could they kissed, hugged, and held hands. Sam was always so good at bringing them back down when Castiel got lost is the haze, which was pretty often, never leaving Cas feeling empty. This look was different somehow, darker; it made Castiel shiver. 

Sam leaned in and caught Cas’ lip in his mouth, tugging ever so slightly, teasing him. He let it go and flicked his tongue across the place he had just bitten. Castiel lay with his eyes closed and motionless, afraid to do anything but let Sam lead. This strategy worked until Cas’ felt Sam’s open mouth meet with his own. His hand moved up seemingly on their own accord, searching for those long strands of brown hair. Then it happened, Sam pulled back, resting on his knees again. Castiel shot up on his bed, frantic at the loss of sensation and head full of the idea that Sam really didn’t want him. “Sam--” he hissed, ready to get some answers. “Move over.” The command was playful but stern enough to shut him up. After a moment his mouth clamped shut and he did just that, he shimmied back up against the wall to give space for the long limbed young man. 

Sam took his time looking at Castiel’s face, the moonlight made his blue eyes reflect silver and his skin seem pale. Cas hummed as Sam’s hand carded through his hair. “Sam,” the name fell from his lips full of question and a need. Sam stuck his nose in the crook of Cas’ neck, breathing him in, ghosting kisses down the line of his neck. Fingers inched their way up his torso each point of contact causing tingles to shoot through him, like electricity through a conductor. A thumb brushed gently over his nipple and tiny bumps rose on his skin, he bit his lip to stifle any moans that would try to slip out. Fingers finally met lips at his collar bone and stopped prompting Cas to pull back and look at Sam. His hair was mostly dry now and falling in front of his face but it didn’t hide the lowered eye lids or the way his mouth parted, just barely, in anticipation. 

Castiel ripped his shirt off and tossed it to the side. Is this happening? Cas’ mind flooded with thoughts and a whatever chemical concoction was pumping through his veins at the moment. With a trembling hand he reached to touch Sam’s bare chest and his fingertips landed against searing hot skin. The room was near simmering the heat of him. Keep it together. Just breathe. He felt the strong heart beating beneath his hand and he slowly mapped out every curve and cut that lined the muscular body that lay in his bed. They kissed again, hearts pounding against each other, afraid to speak aloud because the entire world would surely hear. Only the moon would watch and grin at the beautiful things they were sharing. This lonely satellite would be the only witness to their love manifested in such tangible way; even as it hovered above a world that would only ridicule them for who they were.

[Moonlight - Explicit](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2279076)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has become quite the little story for me! Well I like it. :)


	7. Saturday Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post Moonlight/Pre prom - After Sam and Castiel's first night together the boys make some important decisions.

Sam was curled around his smaller lover on the full sized bed and Castiel was snoring lightly beneath those arms and legs. The morning sun shined through the window happily causing Sam to stir. He had always been a morning person, often jogging as part of his morning routine. His big brother always poked fun at him and called him Granola Sam and a health nut. It wasn't like that, he just liked being fit. He looked down at Castiel's sleeping face that was pressed up against his chest. He was so beautiful and peaceful like this. If only he could protect him for what was coming in the next few weeks.

Sam was not new to rejection and hateful words, even if his dad was always drunk when he said them and apologized profusely after sobering up. It hurt like hell. Dean had always been there to take the brunt of the punishments and to sooth Sam afterwards but now Dean had moved on and it was just Sam. Sam fully believed his height and strength were the only things keeping his dad from lashing out at him... or maybe he just preferred Dean. 

Cas' face began to twitch in the first moments of waking. Castiel had never experienced rejection in his life. His parents were kind and loving, everyone at school adored him, and colleges scrambled to make him a future famous alumnus. This was going to devastate him. Sam wrapped his arms around Cas a little bit tighter and noticed a small smile spread over his sleepy face. 

"Good morning Sam," came that rumbling voice.

"Morning Cas." 

They looked at each other for a long moment. "I could get use to this..." Sam whispered. 

It was finally Castiel's turn to blush. He pressed his face into Sam's neck in an attempt to hide his satisfied grin. _Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all..._ Sam thought as he brushed his hand in Castiel's bed hair. Everyone could turn their backs on him if he could see Cas so happy and make him smile like that every day. If he could feel Cas' soul consuming love every night.

"BOYS!!!" came a sudden and _very_ close shout. Castiel shoved Sam hard in the chest and he fell onto the pull out mattress on the floor. In a single move both he and Cas pulled blankets over their naked bodies.

"Castiel James Novak are you waiting for high noon to come and shake you out of bed?" his mother questioned loudly as she burst his door open. Hands flying in her usual dramatic way of speaking, not really looking at the boys but more at the messy state of Cas' room. 

"Oh, hi there Sam. You two boys get up. The Judge and I are going to the community meeting and then we are going to do some shopping... You two get up and go eat something - there's bacon and eggs downstairs- then get this room cleaned up. I swear you two will become old men they way you sleep..." Her voice trailed off as she retreated down the hall towards the stairs.

xXx

The house was abnormally quiet with Cas' parents gone. The kitchen sat empty as a shimmering morning sun peeped through the windows and the living areas rested in the darkness behind pulled curtains. Only when standing still and focusing could one hear the sounds of the water beating against a tiled floor on the upper level. The steps wound their way to the second floor, usually quite vocal in protest against those moving up them, but at the moment they are covered in shadows and silence. The sounds of water grows stronger in the hall, low laughter, and muffled conversation floating out of the bedroom like feathers on a breeze. 

The water was hot against their skin, steam filled the bathroom and Sam's chest heaved as he breathed in the moist air. The fog made it difficult for Sam to see, but was becoming obvious that with Castiel you didn't need to see, you only needed to feel. Castiel stood to his feet, pressed close to Sam in the small space, and they melted back into the slow kissing that had controlled them for the last hour. 

"Sam," Cas started hesitantly "I- I don't want to leave you after graduation."

Sam smiled down at his boyfriend and ran his fingers through his dark hair. "No Cas, we will always be together." 

"No- I mean... You have a great list of schools that you've been accepted into and-" his breath caught and his words drowned but Sam stayed quite, waiting for him to finish. 

"I'm going to Stanford with you," he blurted out too quickly. He was peeking up at Sam's face through his lashes, the water still hot on his shoulders. 

"Cas... I can't- I can't let you do that. The school you wanted to get into-" 

"Stanford's medical school is highly rated and being that Judge is going to rescind his offer to fund my schooling once he finds out about us, its best I choose a University that is less expensive." 

There was silence in the shower for almost a minute before Sam pulled Castiel closer and wrapped his arms around him. 

"Okay Cas. Just be sure you're doing this for you and not because of me... or because your scared." 

"Of course I am afraid Sam, but I would rather experience that with you next to me," they looked at each other and a grin slowly spread across Sam's face. 

"You know I'm right here beside you. I'm not going anywhere." 

Cas grinned "I know... besides, it's California. The beaches, the sun, the freedom... I hear is a hot spot for people like us..." 

"Like us?" Sam said with a playfully raised brow. 

"Yes, Sam. I read that they even elected a gay mayor." Cas rambled on as he always did when he was nervous. 

He was still irrationally afraid of being rejected by Sam, but would never admit it. Sam touched a finger to Cas' chin and those blue eyes finally focused on him, he tilted his head slightly and brought their lips together. The kiss was soft... and slow... and everything Cas needed that very second. His eyes closed as he relished in the feeling; he was always, would always be, a complete wreck beneath Sam Winchester. It took him a moment to realize Sam had ended the kiss and stood looking down at him. 

"Stop worrying Cas," the taller boys voice was thick with emotion "If you want to come with me, I will never leave you behind... Ever. Do you understand that?" Castiel swallowed and nodded his head, Sam's hazel eyes burned as he spoke, never breaking their gaze. 

They kissed again, just as slowly as they had before, for a moment and then left the wet heat of the shower. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to go somewhere but the fluff took over. Next chapter we will get somewhere! (or the boys will at least put some clothes on (maybe))


	8. Saturday Afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. (also a bit of important dialogue)

"Sam! Sammy... Come on out here!" called a rather impatient Castiel. Sam had locked himself in the restroom and was currently staring at himself in the mirror.

He had worn a suit before, on the rare occasion he had stepped into a church… or court to plead with a judge to release his drunk father, but this was different. There were ruffles and he didn't even know how to tie his bowtie. Castiel would love it no doubt. The tailor, with his tiny hands, had worked some sort of fairy magic on the fabric and it fit Sam like a glove. It didn’t make him look long and lanky, but quite mature, like an adult. Technically, Sam would be an adult in just a matter of weeks on May 2nd, with graduation following a short 3 days afterward. Just in time for him to hit the road to California.  


“Sam, what could you possibly be doing in there?” Cas’ annoyed calls began to come more frequently.  


Sam stepped out of the bathroom and into the light of the bedroom. 

"Wow," Castiel murmured from his position on the bed. 

"I... I don't know how to put this on..."

Cas jumped off the bed and strode over to him, swiftly tying the bow tie around Sam's neck with the skill gained from attending many political dinners. He stepped back and allowed a slow smile to spread across his face. Sam looked good, no, Sam looked amazing in his suit. He looked like and adult dressed for a wedding- 

Castiel ducked his head to hide the flush that spread across his cheeks. How could he be thinking something like that right now? 

“Hey… what’s the matter?” Sam asked as he touched Cas’ chin with a finger. 

“Nothing. You look – amazing. I love it.” 

They smiled at each other for just a moment before Cas spun around and strode back over to his bed. There, on the built in shelves, was a Sony boombox with cassette player and recorder; above that rested his favorite record player that had seen its share of days but still played loud and clear. Cas pulled down a record and slid it onto the player and set the needle down. The beat thumped out and Castiel bit his lip to suppress the bubbling joy that was right below the surface. 

“I had to cut three yards to buy this album,” he said as his hips started to rock “and my parents don’t even know I have it. They’d freak!” 

Madonna sang “living in a material world, and I am a material girl’ Castiel moved his feet in a simple two step and sang along to the lyrics. Sam just stood watching because he was impossibly tall and had two left feet. Castiel’s energy was contagious as he let his shoulders join in, apparently moving step by step to allow Sam to catch on. ‘Material – material! – material!’ she sang in her squeaky voice and Cas sang right along with her. Cas wiggled his fingers for Sam to move his feet, to move something, so Sam complied. He mimicked the movements of Castiel’s feet and seemed to be catching on until the song changed. Cas giggled at how Sam got flustered about the tempo change but kept their feet moving. Sam looked at his feet too much and he stepped on Cas’ toes even when they were not that close together. Cas just smiled and did a little spin, purely to keep Sam from thinking too much. Eventually, the two end up sitting on the bed laughing at Sam’s well-meaning attempt at dancing to Like a Virgin.

“How about something a bit slower?” Cas asked. Sam just nodded in response. Cas turned and pulled down another album, sliding his treasured Madonna back in its sleeve. 

The record crackled and a familiar piano tune filled the room. Cas stood and held out a hand to Sam. 

  
_‘Highway run into the midnight sun, wheels go round and round.’_  


The soft music and the gesture made Sam’s face heat up a little. Castiel took his hand gently and put his hand against his waist to pull him closer. Sam put his arm over his boyfriend’s shoulder and their heads rested together. 

  
_‘Restless hearts sleep alone tonight, sending all my love along the wire.’_  


Sam was bigger than Cas and a natural leader, but this just felt right; Castiel cradling Sam’s left hand in his own and his other hand against the small of his back. They rocked side to side to the rhythm of the song, Steve Perry singing passionately in the background. 

  
_‘Circus life, under the big top world...’_

__

Cas hummed along and Sam watched him, as he moved with his eyes closed, the corner of his mouth turned up in the slightest smile. Nothing else registered in Sam’s mind because the whole world was focused on this moment between them. Just him and Castiel, no parents, no teachers, and no reason to hide. His hand had found its way to the short dark hairs at the nape of Castiel’s neck and he felt the vibrations of his humming travel through his fingers. 

  
_'I’m forever yours, faithfully.'  
_

The song ended and the record crackled as if requesting to be turned over. They stopped rocking but Cas made no effort to separate their bodies; he just wrapped his other arm around Sam’s waist and rested his head to Sam’s shoulder. They stood in the embrace for well over a minute, the air heavy with a silence that said so much. 

“Do you have the bag packed like I said?” Sam whispered.

Castiel just nodded against his shoulder. Sam kissed at his lovers hair and closed his eyes for a moment longer. They had small bags packed just in case either of them needed to leave home the night they came out to their parents. Uncle Bobby had already cleaned up the room over his garage for them if things went south and became violent. 

Sam pushed the thought away when Cas lifted his head. His blue eyes were dark and serious and it was obvious his thoughts had fell into the same dark place Sam's thoughts had. 

“Let’s get out of these suits, huh?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaahhhh! This was supposed to be something else but who doesn't love sassy fluff???


End file.
